Ironically, when I blog my neurotic episodes are minimal. When I don't I tend to have a set back!

I need to write up a smart goal to deal with it. I have been given a tool and I need to use it.

Well for now, I guess I will just have to say what I am feeling.

My emotional state sometimes makes me feel as though I am bipolar. I can be happy at one moment and the next my mood is on the total opposite of the sanity spectrum.

I highly regard my ability to be consistent. My consistent trend for now is simply neurotic. I have no other word to define myself. So what steps can I take to provide myself with emotional stability.

I have began a process of change and do not drink as much I used to, in an effort to not allow alcohol to be my crutch. I am doing quite well outside of the occassional social drink. I opened my last 4loko recently and it is so strong it will probably take about 2-3 weeks to finish it.

My goal on smoking is relatively stable. I also understand part of my episodes are due to my decrease in smoking. It is not very easy to come up with a new productive habit, but I believe I am working on several new ones.

Being that food has not been a crutch for me in years and with the issues I have with eating, that is not an option.

Cooking is still enjoyable, however, due to recent health issues I have had to relinquish that to my children and husband. This is only temporary, and I am noticing considerable improvement in my skin and stomach so I hope to be back into that really soon.

Kareoke is an old love that is being rejuvenated at this time. I made myself a vow, that I will make it a point to go every week. Simply because singing is a release that I absolutely enjoy. I am also noticing my vocl improvement. I sing 1 song weekly that at one point I was great at. Jennifer Hudson's version of "And I am Telling You."

I also need to work on my sleep patterns. Not sleeping is an issue. I have also found Starbucks to be a caffiene haven!

Well now that I have randomly typed for a few moments, I am getting sleepy. So at this time I am

Signing Off~