Wow! Is all I have to say.

I have always been as stubborn as a mule when it comes to my body. Never really dwell on the bad stuff or the unhealthy things. Hate taking medication, vitamins, or anything that is repetitious. I am a rebel!

Since I have turned 30 however, my body has been experiencing things I never knew. My blood pressure has been high, even not pregnant. Can't eat sugar and stuff the way I used to. I would dare not even try to burn the midnight oil partying because the few times I have tried I felt like it would take weeks to fix it.

I really get the best times out of hanging with my kids watching movies, or on the Wii. Or now loving on the hubby!!

I thought I was really gonna check out of here the other day. It was an eye opener. Diabetes runs in my family and I have been trying to take baby steps to keep it away from my door. But I also think I have a freaking ulcer! Or an issue with gas lol.

Tuesday was the worst tho. I didn't even see it coming. Most of the time, when I get sick I feel it coming. Not this time. It was different. Yes, I had clammy skin that morning, and expressed that to my hubby but I thought it was from being tired from the time we had the night before. Yes 12 hours of loving from the husband...Not done since ever for us. It was great. We bonded and it wasn't just sex, it was the conversation that went with it. It was so great just to lay in his arms and talk. Or he was laying on my belly talking. And yes we made up for months of not much sexing too!!

AWESOMEEEE!!

So back to my clammy skin. Took a shower before I left for work, for obvious reasons, but my skin still felt weird. That was the sign I did not pay attention to I guess. Because a couple of hours later, I was leaning on a counter not understanding what was going on. I totally thank God for my co-workers that day. I really believe Floyd kept me from a Diabetic coma. I have been reading about diabetes the last couple of days. And although I believe I don't have it, I do know it is hereditary. All of my dad's family has dealt with it. But if I manage my life I can deal with it.

I have a great family and kids and appreciate all the love and support I have. Although I have always run from doctor's for fear, my fears have me running to the doctor. I will never walk alone, because I have family and God, but this is something I have to face.

Over the years, I have always questioned my lifespan. Nothing I have ever really discussed with anyone, only myself. It was nothing to give birth to me, because I always wanted to do something great and that was my something great. And I love being a mom. My kids are great. It is scaring me the older they are getting tho. They are going to grow up and leave me and I support them because that is their destiny. But I have realized recently how much I want to be here to see them get old. Have my grandbabies. And some more stuff.

Yes I do some stuff that can contribute to a shorter life span, but I am working on those things. Right now got 2 on my list of NoNo's. I am also working on my marriage. I love my husband so much. We have been thru so much. It is like a vicious cycle. Everytime we get thru one thing something else comes up. But we are going to be just fine. Not because we look to anyone else, but we are learning to love each other and are becoming inseparable friends. We pray together now, we laugh together. We can just lay in the bed and hold each other's hand while watching movies. Just for spice, we have even been watching porn, lol. YES!! But we are happy now. Happier than we have ever been.

It felt so good to represent him at the reunion this weekend. I want to build our relationships with the folks in the family that matter. That's everybody. Now there are those few that can seriously kiss my ass, but for the most part we are trying.

IDK...I needed this blog right now. I am very sleepy and am finna listen to my body and go to sleep. If the girls shut up!!! They just can't clean quietly...lmao..

Well, I guess this is goodnight. I probably won't get back on til after my appointment and depending on the news. I pray for the best but feel I am ready for it all!! My future is as bright as the stars in the sky! And I will shine!!

Signing off~