With everything that I have been through in my life, you would think that I would have thrown in the towel on love and relationships a long time ago. However, in life it seems as that old saying, "Only the strong survive" has been my motto.
At 32 years old, I can honestly say that only 7 men have had the pleasure of diving into my secret place. Each with the most sincerest form of love and adoration that I could give. Each also sharing a pain known to many woman and men, rejection and disappointment. Yet, my heart has never given up, and I have never disrespected myself by letting someone just violate the sanctity of love within me.
There is a lesson to be learned in being more to someone than you are to them.
Speaking to my mother recently, she said, "Unless they sign those papers, they don't truly love you" (paraphrasing). However, it is my conclusion that the sanctity of marriage is no longer seen as a way to prove ones love. There are more adulters now than there are fornicators. Why is that? The truth of the matter is people have lost the will to fight for love and the hope that says the person that I love is going to be with me and faithful to me and live according to the vows we made always.
It may be a hard pill for some to swallow, but time and life is showing me this is the norm.
So now I sit at a crossroads. Either I conform to the current way of being and give myself to random sexual excursions or I continue to set a standard for me.
This is a personal decision that I must make for myself. I have been cheated on, lied to, and it is resulting in me becoming another statistic: Divorcee.
I choose not to lay with every man that comes my way. I choose to believe there is still a glimmer of hope. That next time I meet someone, it will be forever. It may not happen soon. It may definitely happen later. Therefore until that day comes I will live the single life. Except my single life will not include me losing count of who has touched me and explored the love I have inside.
Trust. Easily given, but not easily healed. But I will find a way.
My love is worth the time and effort it takes to be treasured, and I will not walk away from it blind!
